Neat trick

Lifting her chin in Bob’s general direction, the blind woman sniffed the air and then, wrinkling her brow, tilted her head to one side. She sat motionless for a long moment as if trying to work out some problem – perhaps rummaging through her olfactory files for a scent match. Finally finding what she was looking for, she exhaled a huff of breath.

“Huh.”

She then held her hands open before her breasts, let her knees drop and said, “I’m game.”


The naked woman rolled her eyes. Somewhere between Nebraska and Nevada she’d fallen through a rabbit hole and had landed naked and horny in an X-rated Wonderland. It had been fun and interesting right up to the point that a level-three-sex-offending Tweedle-Dee – now unconscious on the floor – arrived on the scene.

Barring the only exit was a creepy-graveyard-shift-working Tweedle-Dum. He looked at her expectantly, his tiny penis straining inside the baggie to achieve self-actualization.

Having already played her surprise-attack card, she decided on a different tactic.

“Hi Bob. I’m Lucy,” she said with as much assurance as could be mustered by a freshly fucked woman standing naked and disheveled in a public restroom. Trying to recast herself as a run-of-the-mill economy class traveler and force him back into his role as bored Greyhound clerk, she continued, “I missed my bus. Do you happen to know when the next bus leaves for San Francisco?”

She slid her left hand over her pubic area and brought her right arm up over her breasts.

“I’d be happy to help, ma’am, “ he said evenly, “but first I’m going to have to ask you to get down on all fours and perform cunnilingus on our friend here.” He bowed his head toward the blind woman without taking his eyes off of her.

"Je vous aurais bien aide, mais je ne vous aime pas!"

They both turned and looked at Lucy’s former lover. He’d worked his way into a precarious standing position and was now staggering towards Bob.

The yellow lab, who’d been sitting obediently at his mistresses’ side, also stood. His ears pinned against his skull and collar fur ruffled, he growled deeply. Everyone but faux-Frenchy froze. Wagging his finger at Bob, he took another step and then, his knees buckling, crumpled to the floor. Without further warning the dog lunged.

“Romeo, Romeo… what’s happening? Heel,” the blind woman sputtered feeling around on the floor for the dog’s lead.

But Romeo, ignoring her orders, was doing his own thing and had Bob backed into the toilet stall.

“Jesus fucking Christ!” Bob wailed, “get him the fuck off me!”.

Seeing her opportunity to exit this tea party, Lucy backed towards the door and then slowly turned to leave, but just as she was about to put her hand on the door handle, she remembered she was still naked. “Fuck,” she muttered, and turned back.

And here’s what she saw: Bob straddling the toilet, lips curled and fists clenched, the tip of his soft penis caught between Romeo’s incisors. His baggie lay crumpled under Romeo’s back paw.